I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
