I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
