your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
