I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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