They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize