genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize