Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
