Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
