I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
