And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
