that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
