hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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