ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
