I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
