Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
