Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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