Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize