Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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