I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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