Do vagina's smell?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize