would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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