I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All the doctor said was why
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
