yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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