I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
