Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize