On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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