Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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