I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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