we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Alive.
So much puke
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
