Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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