just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize