dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
