Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
