I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We just shotgunned beers for America
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
