and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
