Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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