he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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