White coat. Heels.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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