we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
