your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
