That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize