Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
