You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
