I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
