You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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