Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
