I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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