I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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