she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
