Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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