i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize