Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
