yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
