Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
