Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
