Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
