I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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